sorry for the sophia grace and rosie spam
When you drop your phone on your face
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Can you relate? You sit in your towel after a...
c-u-t-a-y: harleyjaneowen: sparklyswift: hahahahaah the head nod thing.. i did it as soon as i read it ! LOLOLOL
Me: Do you want any help, Mom?
Mom: No thanks, sweetie.
5 minutes later…
Mom: HONEST TO GOD, IT’S LIKE NONE OF YOU CARE AROUND HERE. IF I LEFT YOU FOR A WEEK, I’D COME BACK, AND YOU’D PROBABLY BE DEAD BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELVES. HONESTLY, I DO SO MUCH, AND I’M NOT EVEN VALUED. DO YOU EVEN CARE? NO, YOU DON’T.
Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.